Unboxing the many parts of me that stand in the way of my dreams
This journaling exercise will allow you to explore your hidden desires. It’s all about unboxing the many parts of you that stop you from doing what you really desire. There will be dreams that you have that you are shutting yourself off because of your monkey chatter. It is related to fear, but what is fear?
- False evidence appearing real
- Forget everything and run
- Find excuses and rationalisation
- Face everything and rise
- Feel everything and rejoice
Fear is what you want it to be. It can support your smallness, or it can support your greatness it is your choice.
In this exercise I want you to explore what is in the box and what are the many parts of you that are stopping what is in the box coming out. Find a quiet time, open your journal, take a few deep breaths, connect to your muse and write.
Unboxing the many parts of me that in the way of my dreams
What I want is to write. There are books that are welling up inside of me. I want them to come to life. To feel that childlike excitement when you know that you are going to do your most favourite thing.
When I think of Puppy With No Name, I fall even more deeply in love with Angel who inspired this story. When Marley And Her Moo came to me, I danced with her, she just saw it as another opportunity to cover me in licks. Ferdy’s story has yet to come; I am sure it will. My love for them cascades. They inspire me, my children of the furry kind.
These stories are in a box which says you can do this when… When you’ve done the other things, the business things and the things of life.
My monkey brain gets in the way. She sits on my box of desires and strikes up a conversation with another part. They discuss me and decide what I should be doing, and it’s not what is inside my box. My luscious box of doggie stories.
How I hate that word should. Why do these parts think that they know better than me? Don’t they know I hate to be told? Just like I hate rude, small minded people and bullies. But tough, they are parts of the Universe, just like I am. Except I feel different, a child of the Cosmos, bubbling full of cosmic words. Words which are inside that box.
The parts pop in often to remind me that I cannot lock myself away and write these books which are clawing at my brain. The stories are there, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling. But my confidence is elsewhere. It’s silly, I can write, it’s just that I write non-fiction. That’s my self-limiting me putting the cosmic me into the box for my safety. The box is getting fuller, and the weight on top is becoming a burden.
For crying out loud what is wrong with me? It’s ok I know what’s wrong, I’m listening to you, and you are telling me what I should do. It sounded like a good idea, and it did make business sense when you said it to me. My business part, my procrastination part, my part of fear.
I should be marketing, selling and finding customers and I should be writing blogs and books to build my brand. Isn’t that what I tell you? Why do I have to do things that impact my bottom line? Ok, I know why I have an MBA don’t you know? The Cosmic child asks does that matter and why do I have to do these things? She challenges me. What if I shoved the parts holding down the lid on my box off? What if the desires in the box change my life?
There are too many parts talking. Perhaps they can be put in the squabble box and sort themselves out without me, that would work wouldn’t it, tell them to shut the f*** up.
I’m being torn into pieces, shredded and scattered to the four corners. Not that there are any corners in my world. More like a series of cosmic roundabouts all leading back to where I am hiding. Inside the box, wondering if it’s safe to come out?
Jacqui Malpass 2017
Analysis of your story
After you have written, go and do something else. When you come back, allow yourself to be immersed in the story of the parts of you. Now ask, what if you could immerse yourself in your desires? What has to happen to allow you to embrace what it is you really want?
In the analysis of your story is your truth. What you choose to do next could change your life.
The journey to self love is a way to celebrate all of you. Using the power of the pen to delve deeply into the inner you, you can unlock your heart and set yourself free.