bad decisions

5 possible reasons you are about to make a bad decision

Do we ever make a bad decision or is it a choice that perhaps was poorly judged or is every decision simply part of your path? You cannot change the past, whatever you have done is done, and hopefully, you learnt from it.

What I know is that if I don’t learn from my poor choices then potentially I will make another possible bad decision.

I like to think that all decisions are meant to be, because if you hadn’t made these choices, you wouldn’t be where you are, would you?

Of course, if where you are is not such a great place then taking some time to reflect on your journey will help. Journaling and allowing your unconscious mind to take an active role in bringing aha’s to light will raise your awareness.

Let’s say there is such a thing as a bad decision, which of these resonates? Pick a decision you have made and test each of these points and see what comes up for you.

Failing to learn from a past bad decision

This one resonates with me when it comes to men choices. Having time on my own has given me plenty of space to reflect on why, so that next time someone puckers their lips at me, I listen to my gut.

Not trusting your gut

That little voice that screeches no don’t do it, but which you choose to override will get you every time. I can remember lying in bed next to someone who proved to be a rubbish choice and thinking I need to get up, go home and never see him again. Instead, I stayed and married him. Happily now divorced.

Emotional factors – such as fear

What made me stay? Looking back probably fear of being alone, which is a terrible excuse and one to never to used again. There is, as I have learned nothing to fear from being alone. In fact, it’s rather nice, but not forever.

Impulse

I met someone online and after weeks of chatting, I was invited to dinner. The trouble was dinner was several hours drive away. Feeling impulsive I grabbed some clothes and headed off. He was lovely; we had dinner, and I shared the only bed with him and his dog. Nothing happened. As luck would have it, he wasn’t an axe murder, but it could have turned out badly.

Not asking for help

Always the strong one, asking for help has often been tough. The day I decided to leave the UK was because the one time I thought I’d asked for help, it didn’t come through as I expected. Faced with nowhere else to go, I packed everything up and drove to Spain. While here I have learned the hard way that it is ok to ask for help. The right people will be there when you need them. You just need to stop being Mrs. Strong. It is a sign of strength to ask for help and accept it.

The bottom line is that ‘bad decisions’ are a part of life and in my opinion not bad, more not thought through. All decisions are part of enabling you to grow as a person, and that has to be good, right?

Flawed decision-making

The mind is ingenious, and it’s prime directive is to protect you. Later when you go to make other similar choices, your old choices which are now well and truly coded pop-up to act as a protection mechanism. In turn, this can lead to future flawed decision making.

To put a halt to this when faced with a decision you could consciously:-

  • consider the outcome you wanted
  • look at your options
  • weigh each of them up
  • ask what value each has
  • and then make a choice

When faced with making a decision these days, I tell whoever is asking me something that I am a processor and I need time to think. This is a delaying tactic which buys me time. I want to make sure that I have considered my options, that I am listening to my gut, asking my heart and lastly passing it by my head. It is important to me to not repeat past mistakes. This process doesn’t stop me being spontaneous. Instead, it has helped me to notice ‘flaws’ in my decision-making process.

Next time you are faced with a decision, embrace the uncertainty and talk it through if you can and if you want to and/or journal about it. Remove any ideas about good or bad, and think decision and desired outcome. Do not get bullied into deciding there and then.

the only bad decision is if you do not grow from your choices

And always remember that whatever the outcome the only bad decision is if you do not grow from your choices.

JMAdmin

Writer, author, book coach, conscious woman and mum to three beautiful dogs. Living in the hills in Spain watching the world from a distance and drinking tea are just a part of what I fill my days with. That is when I am not writing or walking said dogs.

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Carolyn - May 14, 2016

Oh, I’m an expert at not asking for help in the past. Slowly getting used to it! Comes from seeing my mum deferring all decision making to my dad and never being able to think for herself. I ended up translating that into “must DO everything myself”!

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